Leadership?
This is the first topic that I am recording in this reflection series: Questioning leadership. I have always question certain types of leaders we have seen or are seeing and why do we need leaders. Questioning leadership will be an experience of me learning more about what others think of leadership and how I reflect on what I learned.
The start of my journey
“Why are we encouraged to become leaders? What if we do not want to be leaders? Is it wrong? Is being a leader inevitable? What if you take a leadership role unwillingly? Is society too obsessed about leadership? Do we need more leaders, or do we need to redefine leadership? What if there is no official leader and everyone leads and supports each other?” These are some of the questions that were jumping in my mind. It was already late in the evening, the time when I usually go to bed. I could not sleep because I was thinking about these questions. I wanted to hear some people’s opinion about leadership. So, what did I do? I sent my list of questions to some of my close friends. One of them (Nazeerah) replied (time zone is a big challenge!) and we started to talk about leadership and if anyone of us aspires to become a leader.
Chibis talking about leadership
Talking about leadership with my friend
Do we even need leaders?
These are some of the key insights my friend shared with me:
- In most situations a person who takes final decisions (when and if all other ways of more democratic means of decision making have been exhausted and viable) is necessary
- There is a need to have someone who will represent others and the collective interest on other platforms
- Leadership is absolutely necessary, but we need to redefine good leadership
- We need to be aware and mindful of when we see a cult/ hero worship of certain figures in the present or history. Are admiring good qualities?
What makes a good leader?
What my friend thinks of what makes a good leader
- A leader should want to lead for the right reasons
- A leader should know when to be transparent
- A leader should always value and credit their team or organisation
- They should always believe they are disposable and be okay with that (i.e. there should always be mechanisms in place to dispose fairly of leaders)
I agree with all the things that my friend shared with me, especially the need to redefine leadership. The cult/hero worship of certain figure is something I think more people should be aware. The need to have systems in place on how to have a new generation of leaders to step up is something I also recognise is essential. I believe that having too much power can lead to corruption, considering so many scandals when it comes to politics. To add to what makes a good leader, I think servant leadership is something that may be more leaders should be doing.
Do you aspire to become leaders?
I felt comforted to hear that my friend was like me – we did not aspire to become a leader. We all have our reasons why we do not want to be leaders. We were not even sure how to explain why we do not want to be leaders. My friend shared: “So maybe the reason why I don’t aspire for leadership is that I feel to be a good one is very hard and if you reap too many rewards from your position then you are doing a bad job”. Is getting too many rewards a bad thing? I started to wonder…
For me, why I do not aspire to be a leader, I think is the pressure that I feel to step up, to take a leadership role unwillingly. I like helping the team but not as a leader, it is hard to explain. I also do not feel like a follower, maybe more like a supporter or consultant? I am still looking for the right term to describe what I feel. “Is It the attention? Or is it the pressure?”, my friend asked. “I don’t know… maybe both? xD (xD: this is my laughing emoji)”, I replied.
Being an introvert, I do not like the attention, the ‘spotlight’ as I often refer to. As for the pressure, I think it is not the pressure of responsibilities of a leader (I do not mind commitments). I think that it is more about the pressure of taking a leadership role when you do not want it. Having choices is something that I really value in life, believing that not everything has already been set up for you, that you have the ability to influence your future.
Going back to the pressure of stepping up, I think that even when one might have the choice to refuse or accept a leadership role, the latter might accept to become the leader not because they want it but because they know there is a need for someone to take that leadership role and people told them that they have good leadership skills/have the potential to become a leader. But then that person might be unhappy with that decision even if it is for the greater good of the team, of the mission. Sometimes that person might be happy with their decision along the way but then sometimes that person might not enjoy the position.
So then is it wrong to be unhappy as a leader, to be unhappy to be in that role? Is it wrong for someone to say ‘”no, being a leader is not my thing even though I might have the ability to lead and make an impact (Speaking of making an impact, I believe that you do not need to be a leader to make an impact… something to reflect on)?” Should we pressure people to step up and become leaders when they do not want to? These are some additional things I will consider in my journey of questioning leadership.
Be curious
Questions questions questions??
As we were coming to the end of our chat, I found some peace of mind after sharing my views and listening to my friend’s insights. Though the discussion did not answer most of my question, I have been reminded that there is a need to redefine leadership whether or not you want to be a leader. Did having this conversation with my friend made me want to become a leader or describe myself as a leader? No, and I am fine with it. I know that I might have some leadership skills, but I do not consider myself as a leader. After the chat, I got the motivation to start this small project about finding out what others think of leadership. Maybe I will find the answers to my questions, maybe not. But something I am certain of; I will be more content with how I feel about leadership.
I would like to thank my friend who gave me permission to record and share some of her insights on leadership. Considering the chat we had was not for hours, there are a lot of things about leadership that we did not cover in our discussion but I believe that the points made were also important and useful in my journey of learning.
Chibi Nazeerah
Cheers,
Juliet